Trailer - First Draft

First Draft 

Tinika and I, along with other students, were asked to put together our first draft. This was so we could all critique the work we had put together and receive constructive criticism. 

Tinika and I were quite disappointed to find out our first draft was in top level 2 which is equivalent to a high D grade. We worked really hard and felt quite disheartened. However, this feedback will allow us to edit and change our film trailer for the better and hopefully we will be able to achieve a better grade.

The main points of concern from other students and our teacher were:

• Repetitive scenes 
• Finish our voice overs for the beginning section
• Darken the lighting of some scenes
• Make the fact that our plot includes our antagonist deafening her
• Film more scenes focusing on the antagonist or a sideline story of our protagonists relationship with someone else
• Add a binoculars section

This gave us enough to work with in terms of changing things, re-filming and adding a few more scenes or sections. Hopefully this will allow us to improve our grade. 

The first thing we plan on doing to make in terms of making improvements is the editing itself. This involves the changing of the lighting, we will do this by editing the brightness of particular scenes and deleting the repetitive scenes so we have a rough estimate of how much more we need to film and if we have an opportunity to film a new sideline story which will involve our protagonist having a relationship with a new character. This will allow us to move on to the next stages which is the filming of new scenes. This will involve both our existing characters and possibly a new character. This character will be linked to our protagonist. 

After all of this has been completed, we will focus on the voice overs of the characters, especially the beginning section with the emergency dispatcher. These will help us to establish the beginning sequence and make the editing smoother. We can also remove the text that is on screen which, from our feedback, we found out is too much for the audience to see along with the running sequence of our protagonist. 

The binocular section is not confirmed yet as we are unsure how professional it will look. If all goes well, then yes we will include this in our film trailer but, it isn't a necessity.